Embracing Imperfection - I am only human, can't you see?

Do you struggle with being a bit of a perfectionist? Does it feel like a heavy burden, stopping you from putting yourself out there? The thoughts creep in: "I can't possibly be ready for this. It's not good enough. I'm not good enough." The house isn’t tidy enough to invite friends over. Your makeup and hair feel too messy for a picture. Your cooking seems too subpar to host a dinner party. You hesitate to share your opinions, convinced you're not smart enough.

The fear of failure and judgment kicks in, and instead of trying, you retreat. You don’t experience what could have been. Nothing changes, and you stay in the comfort of the familiar. But is that really where you want to be? Imagine what you could achieve by stepping out of your comfort zone. It might never be perfect, things go wrong, people disappoint us - can you handle it? How much can you tolerate your flaws and mistakes and of others? Could you take a leap, even if it's imperfect, and see what’s possible?

Chose Action over Perfection, Break Free from Perfectionism & Start a Journey Toward Progress and Fulfilment

Perfectionism often seems like an admirable trait. We associate perfection with success, achievement, and being "the best." However, perfectionism can also hold us back, creating stress, dissatisfaction, and a constant sense of inadequacy. Letting go of perfectionism isn't about settling for mediocrity—it's about embracing progress, authenticity, and self-compassion. Here’s how you can break free from the perfectionist mindset, drawing insights from some of the most influential books on the subject: The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown, Perfectionism: A Revolutionary Approach to Getting Free by Miriam Adahan, and Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown.

Understanding Perfectionism: The Hidden Barrier

Perfectionism is often mistaken for a positive trait. It's the belief that everything you do must be flawless, without room for mistakes or imperfection. But as Brené Brown points out in The Gifts of Imperfection, perfectionism is actually a shield we use to protect ourselves from vulnerability. We fear being judged, criticized, or seen as inadequate. To avoid this, we try to present a "perfect" version of ourselves to the world.

However, this quest for flawlessness is exhausting. It keeps us trapped in a cycle of never feeling "good enough," no matter how hard we try. The constant striving for perfection makes us overly self-critical and prevents us from experiencing the fullness of life.

Perfectionism’s Price: Anxiety, Stress, and Self-Sabotage

Miriam Adahan’s Perfectionism: A Revolutionary Approach to Getting Free highlights the psychological toll of perfectionism. It can lead to chronic anxiety, stress, and even depression because we are always chasing an unattainable ideal. The fear of failure makes it difficult to take action, and we may find ourselves procrastinating or avoiding important tasks altogether. Perfectionists may also struggle with imposter syndrome, feeling that they’re never truly worthy of their successes because they haven’t achieved perfection.

Perfectionism also creates a false sense of control. By focusing on details and obsessing over outcomes, we try to exert control over every situation, but this only leads to feelings of frustration and helplessness when things inevitably don’t go as planned.

The Solution: Embrace Imperfection and Focus on Progress

The antidote to perfectionism is embracing imperfection and shifting our focus from achieving flawlessness to making consistent progress. Greg McKeown’s Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less offers a powerful perspective on this. Instead of trying to do everything perfectly, McKeown advocates for focusing on what truly matters. By eliminating the non-essential, we can direct our energy toward the few things that align with our values and contribute to our well-being.

Brown also emphasizes the importance of vulnerability in overcoming perfectionism. In The Gifts of Imperfection, she encourages us to embrace our authentic selves and let go of the societal pressure to be perfect. When we accept ourselves as we are, flaws and all, we create space for real connection, creativity, and growth.

Practical Steps to Overcome Perfectionism

Here are some actionable steps, drawn from the teachings of these books, to help you break free from the shackles of perfectionism:

1. Start Small: Don’t wait for the perfect moment to act. Begin with small steps that allow you to make progress, even if the outcome isn’t perfect. As McKeown teaches, focus on the essential and move forward with what you can control.

2. Reframe Mistakes: Shift your mindset around failure. Mistakes are not signs of incompetence but opportunities for learning. According to Brown, embracing imperfections leads to greater self-compassion and personal growth.

3. Let Go of the “All-or-Nothing” Mentality: Perfectionists often view things as either perfect or a failure. Instead, aim for “good enough.” Focus on effort, not outcome, and understand that some level of imperfection is inherent in all human endeavours.

4. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself when things don’t go as planned. According to Adahan, developing self-compassion helps you overcome the critical inner voice that perfectionism feeds. Recognize that you are worthy, even without being perfect.

5. Embrace Vulnerability: Allow yourself to be seen as you truly are—imperfect and evolving. This vulnerability fosters deeper connections and authentic self-expression. As Brown says, “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.”

   
   

Conclusion: The Freedom of Imperfection

Perfectionism may seem like a way to protect ourselves from failure, but it only keeps us stuck in a cycle of fear and self-doubt. To truly move forward, we must embrace the idea that imperfections are part of what makes us human. By shifting our focus to progress, not perfection, we can cultivate a sense of fulfilment, creativity, and self-acceptance.

As you begin your journey toward letting go of perfectionism, remember that progress is the key. The world doesn’t need your perfection—it needs your authentic self, willing to take risks and grow.

Further Reading:

• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown

• Perfectionism: A Revolutionary Approach to Getting Free by Miriam Adahan

• Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less by Greg McKeown